Sunday, August 10, 2008

"Real men... don't use semicolons."

I've read and re-read Lynne Truss' "Eat, Shoots & Leaves." I list "punctuation" as one of my interests on my Facebook page. And, in all honesty, I find a man infinitely more attractive if he knows how to punctuate properly. Which leads me to this article I read about the gender bias of one of my favorite punctuation marks: the semicolon. Apparently, the semicolon is considered by some men to be "the most pusillanimous, sissified, utterly useless mark of punctuation ever invented." Why are males so afraid of the little tick and dot?

I've always loved the semicolon; at least, that is, since the day I learned how to use one. Soon after that day, I used it every chance I got; it allowed me to continue a single train of thought without ever having to justify my occasionally spotty transitions and jumps in logic. The semicolon was empowering; it forced my reader to conform to my way of thinking and to see it my way: "Yes, these two thoughts are related; get over it!"

How do YOU feel about the semicolon?

4 comments:

Ambiguous Q. Thunderwing said...

I love the semicolon. It's like a mental alley-oop; once a crystalized thought makes its way to your page, you realize it lacks clarity and completeness that only another thought, distinct though related, can bring. I see it also as a terrific bolstering tool; you can always just make a statement and then give examples of how or why what you said is funny, not funny, ironic, absurd, interesting, etc. Like the "use" of irony, it's a hinge upon which the door to the acuity of a writer rests; though its correct use is often hard to describe in literal terms as it involves a sort of incongruity, its correct use indicates an acumen that is almost sexually pleasing.

joshua francis said...

No semicolons for real men?

I'm reminded of a Mos Def quote (rap music being almost entirely the domain of 'real' men): "speech is my hammer pound the world into shape." The lack of semicolons in distinctly masculine texts emphasizes the male predilection towards interpretive documentation and definitive analysis as opposed to imitation and feminine reflection. Semicolons mimic the illogical flow of human thought more accurately than a comma or a conjunction can; however, more 'masculine' forms, when properly utilized, can be a forceful and direct, if somewhat less elegant way of presenting a complex thought. I can't imagine Hemingway littered with semicolons, nor do I want to.

My first exposure to abundant semicolon usage came via a Dorothy Dunnett novel when I was a freshman in high school. It was a historical fiction series set against the distinctly masculine backdrop of the Crusades but focusing on the feminine aspects of the male heroes' lives. I didn't find it overly remarkable at the time but in retrospect the semicolon usage was especially appropriate to the book's narrative. Try linking globe-trotting and swashbuckling with drug addiction, sodomy, and paternity scandals; a semicolon helps.

If we're going to divide the intellect into masculine and feminine sides (a complicated and perhaps impossible thing to do), I think that it can be fairly argued that post modern art and literature is predominantly concerned with the internal emotions and processes of the feminine side. As such, I find it unfortunate that the semicolon has fallen out of favor in most writing; why ignore the tool that most accurately recreates your subject matter? However, I've noticed that some writers, both male and female, who use semicolons sparingly find other ways to more readily evoke the interplay between the masculine and feminine sides. Michael Chabon - who has in recent years relinquished his stranglehold on the jewish-homosexual-bildungsroman in favor of wild genre exercises - typically writes from the perspective of male characters experiencing distinctly feminine crises of sexuality, faith, and emotional maturation. His sentence structure varies accordingly between terse observationals and more elaborate structures. Indeed, his more complex sentence forms, rife with dependent clauses and multi-tense participle phrases, at times seem to be begging for a semicolon. However, his choice to adhere to more masculine structures formally embodies the figurative content of his texts: a traditionally masculine discipline/viewpoint fixated on feminine concerns. Perhaps a semicolon in omission can be just as forceful in describing modern artistic tensions as one in application. An abundance of semicolons, as seen in say, "Mrs. Dalloway, can be construed as either indulgent or evocative but in moderation they can be simultaneously poignant and transgressive.

As someone who always avoided the dash as a gauche transgression fit only for very occasional and specific use, I've embraced the semicolon as one of the great pleasures of my adult life, albeit one that I hope I remain careful in not overusing.

Maureen Gillespie said...

I've never understood your disdain for the dash, Josh.

joshua francis said...

I've softened my stance on the dash in recent years but I'm still not sold. I even use it myself fairly frequently but too often I see it being over/misused in situations where prettier punctuation would be more appropriate.

I'm all for free flowing sentences filled with off the cuff interpolations but the rise of the dash bodes ill for elegance and style in the sentence future.