If there was a choice on this year's ballot that read simply "Anybody BUT Palin" it would win this election.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Presidential Debate (Remix)
I'm kicking myself for not knowing that this event was happening in my city! Check it out: three MIT grads remix the debate in real-time to help visualize linguistic patterns that emerge over time. It's coming to NYC and Washington DC, so maybe if you're lucky, you could get to one of the debates!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Political Dream 01
presidential debate at school
in one of those large auditorium classrooms
old-style, each candidate took the stage separately
McCain was first
before it all begain, however, i gave personally
gave Obama a copy of "Borderline Suicide"
He graciously accepted it
McCain takes the stage and for some reason i am
a member of his cadre, thus he offers me
one of the Budweisers in the minifridge
at the foot of the stage
he is already drinknig one
they are pounders
he begins his speech, which is interactive with the audience
he begins talking about the cost of war, talking about
casualties as if they were statistics
and i am somehow behind him on the stage, facing stage right
i say "they aren't for the parents of those people who die"
which doe not go over well with McCain or the audience
so i fall to the floor on my stomach and lie there
for the remainder of McCain's turn.
Once he is done, the lights come back on and intermission
starts.
I grab a Budweiser.
Then Obama makes his appearance, despite intermission not being over
thus he begins talking to a half-empty auditorium
because people are up and about
because it's intermission
the first thing he does is start reciting the lyrics
to the MW song "Obsessed With Success"
I recognize what he's doing and make eye-contact
he smiles
People trickle back in and his speech goes over well.
I cannot get over the fact that he a.) he listened to my cd
and b.) he liked my song that much.
But I also start feeling completely cheated, like it's
actually completely horrible and ironic that Obama,
as obsessed with success as anyone I know,
is reciting a song i intended as satirical.
i catch up with Obama off-stage and he is the same,
gracious, smiling, nodding, betraying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
no one tries to remove me, i just slowly realize
that these people, Obama and his cohorts,
are vacuous.
in one of those large auditorium classrooms
old-style, each candidate took the stage separately
McCain was first
before it all begain, however, i gave personally
gave Obama a copy of "Borderline Suicide"
He graciously accepted it
McCain takes the stage and for some reason i am
a member of his cadre, thus he offers me
one of the Budweisers in the minifridge
at the foot of the stage
he is already drinknig one
they are pounders
he begins his speech, which is interactive with the audience
he begins talking about the cost of war, talking about
casualties as if they were statistics
and i am somehow behind him on the stage, facing stage right
i say "they aren't for the parents of those people who die"
which doe not go over well with McCain or the audience
so i fall to the floor on my stomach and lie there
for the remainder of McCain's turn.
Once he is done, the lights come back on and intermission
starts.
I grab a Budweiser.
Then Obama makes his appearance, despite intermission not being over
thus he begins talking to a half-empty auditorium
because people are up and about
because it's intermission
the first thing he does is start reciting the lyrics
to the MW song "Obsessed With Success"
I recognize what he's doing and make eye-contact
he smiles
People trickle back in and his speech goes over well.
I cannot get over the fact that he a.) he listened to my cd
and b.) he liked my song that much.
But I also start feeling completely cheated, like it's
actually completely horrible and ironic that Obama,
as obsessed with success as anyone I know,
is reciting a song i intended as satirical.
i catch up with Obama off-stage and he is the same,
gracious, smiling, nodding, betraying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
no one tries to remove me, i just slowly realize
that these people, Obama and his cohorts,
are vacuous.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
"I don't even know if there's even any black people in Alaska?"
Diddy/Obama Blog #16: Diddy's incredulity knows no limit.
Some thoughts/questions:
Some thoughts/questions:
- Diddy saying "Alaska, motherfucker?!?!" is delightful.
- Assuming this is Diddy's backyard, does he have a merry-go-round back there? I like to think that he's riding on the shoulders of one of his assistants and that any time he wants to spin faster or change directions, Diddy spurs him in the kidneys. The prospect of him just spinning in a circle by himself in the backyard while he shouts into a video camera is also exciting.
- Would choosing Michelle Obama as his running mate have clinched the election for John McCain? That would have been a pro wrestling caliber strategic move.
- I like when Diddy gets distracted by a passing airplane in the middle of his impassioned get out the vote plea.
- This folksy DIY approach to electoral commentary is far more enjoyable than that ludicrous Vote or Die campaign Diddy ran last time.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Long Way Wrong
Long Way Wrong
For George Oppen
1
Wrong way all along.
Who could say it?
"Confess."
What is expected tends to forget
Its own expectedness
Thus it disappoints
And we forget what
The fuss about confessing
Ever meant.
2
Suggestions, limit one per complaint
"Confess now, before my temper is
Gone for good."
So.
If something lost, to be found,
Must seek presence
And foundedness
We lost already the way we sought
And backwards we must go forever.
3
"Jesus wept."
Tissue paper for under a dollar.
Have you
Your face
On currency found?
One must be mad to think such things.
"Or brilliant."
But often I hope
That as in all difficult moments,
We tread the turbulent currents of numbers
In solitude
With vigorous ease
And weep.
4
"Perfect" is more than a word.
It's a curse
Like "Man" or "Woman" or "In" and "Out"
And without a single doubt in mind
I shake.
"Too late."
For whom?
5
Difficulty continues
To be our national shadow
To beat or be beaten
Holding sway
"Pride is a sin best punished by death."
So it is.
6
Napalm precipitates
Without our knowing
Without our understanding
That "Napalm" is more than a word in a poem
It is not understanding.
"Conflict, you mean?"
Perhaps that's what I mean.
But still I hope that what we mean
Will one day be clean
Enough to hold sway
Instead of that casual grin.
For George Oppen
1
Wrong way all along.
Who could say it?
"Confess."
What is expected tends to forget
Its own expectedness
Thus it disappoints
And we forget what
The fuss about confessing
Ever meant.
2
Suggestions, limit one per complaint
"Confess now, before my temper is
Gone for good."
So.
If something lost, to be found,
Must seek presence
And foundedness
We lost already the way we sought
And backwards we must go forever.
3
"Jesus wept."
Tissue paper for under a dollar.
Have you
Your face
On currency found?
One must be mad to think such things.
"Or brilliant."
But often I hope
That as in all difficult moments,
We tread the turbulent currents of numbers
In solitude
With vigorous ease
And weep.
4
"Perfect" is more than a word.
It's a curse
Like "Man" or "Woman" or "In" and "Out"
And without a single doubt in mind
I shake.
"Too late."
For whom?
5
Difficulty continues
To be our national shadow
To beat or be beaten
Holding sway
"Pride is a sin best punished by death."
So it is.
6
Napalm precipitates
Without our knowing
Without our understanding
That "Napalm" is more than a word in a poem
It is not understanding.
"Conflict, you mean?"
Perhaps that's what I mean.
But still I hope that what we mean
Will one day be clean
Enough to hold sway
Instead of that casual grin.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
"Movies that I DIDN'T see"
Thoughts and opinions on the movies that I DIDN'T see this summer, based on assumptions I made while watching the trailers and (occasionally) reading actual reviews.
Speed Racer: I never liked/watched this cartoon growing up and my interest in the movie never really extended beyond vague plans to cash in on a free Cheerios Speed Racer cereal bowl offer; at some point I switched from Cheerios to Life and never got the box tops together. Too many bright colors, quick cuts, and closeups of Matthew Fox wearing a costume that made him look like Mega-Man. Emile Hirsch's post-Girl Next Door career has been a disappointment and Fox's hands-on-hips-taking-a-deep-breath-while-I-squint schtick really only works on Lost.
Sex and the City: Based on her stellar work in Hocus Pocus, I've always been a Sarah Jessica Parker apologist; however, this movie was garbage. Like any good television show turned movie, they would have been better off just showing the three best episodes back to back on the big screen. The only three Sex and the City episodes I've seen (long story) involved the pretty-brunette-woman-whose-name-I-can-never-remember divorcing her husband and having sex with her bald, paunchy, very hairy divorce lawyer.
Kung Fu Panda: Jack Black is an ass. Only real pandas are entertaining.
You Don't Mess with the Zohan: I wish Adam Sandler would just recycle jokes and plots from his old movies instead of trying to come up with new ideas. I would gladly fork over $8 for Happy Gilmore II. Also, goatees are neither fashionable nor funny. Ever.
The Happening: I got off the M. Night Shyamalan ride years ago when a friend told me how the Sixth Sense ended before I saw it. Since then, I've never seen any of his movies but strongly believe that all of them have been complete and utter crap.
The Incredible Hulk: I finally saw the Ang Lee version this summer on cable when the beautiful and talented Jennifer Connelly (The Rocketeer!) stopped me cold mid-channel surf. I don't imagine that I'll ever actually see this new one; Edward Norton is only half-alright part of the time and Liv Tyler isn't nearly pretty enough (maybe in Empire Records?) to slow me down when I'm power surfing through the USA/TBS/TNT/FX block of channels.
Get Smart: I have nothing against this movie. Maybe I'll see it on a plane one day.
Hancock: Oh, Will Smith, you made Independence Day and I could never hate you, but this movie was tedious, uninspired, and probably neutered by the MPAA.
Step Brothers: On the one hand, a grown man getting crushed by a poorly constructed bunk bed is hilarious, on the other hand, neither Will Ferrell nor John C. Reilly are very funny anymore. Jury's still out on this one, but I strongly suspect that it's mediocre. If we were ever at the video store together and you said "hey, let's rent this one," I wouldn't say no but I certainly wouldn't split the rental fee with you.
The X Files: I feel the same way about this as I do Sex and the City minus the weird, pre-pubescent crush on SJP (sorry David Duchovny). The only X Files episode I remember seeing involved a family of incestuous mutants living in an isolated farmhouse and I have to believe that the movie fails to deliver on that episode's creepy promise.
Pineapple Express: I have no plans to ever see this movie. If I find out that Jonah Hill was in it then I have definite plans NOT to see it. In another year or so this whole Apatow/Rogen thing will have run its course and only James Franco (maybe) and that guy who plays Darryl on The Office will have careers.
The Mummy 3/The Rocker/Mamma Mia!: I will neither remember nor regret.
Tropic Thunder: Part of me wanted to see this but an even bigger part of me thought that there was a reason that they waited until the end of August when no other decent movies were playing to release it. That said, I can only assume that Robert Downey Jr. was nothing short of wonderful.
Speed Racer: I never liked/watched this cartoon growing up and my interest in the movie never really extended beyond vague plans to cash in on a free Cheerios Speed Racer cereal bowl offer; at some point I switched from Cheerios to Life and never got the box tops together. Too many bright colors, quick cuts, and closeups of Matthew Fox wearing a costume that made him look like Mega-Man. Emile Hirsch's post-Girl Next Door career has been a disappointment and Fox's hands-on-hips-taking-a-deep-breath-while-I-squint schtick really only works on Lost.
Sex and the City: Based on her stellar work in Hocus Pocus, I've always been a Sarah Jessica Parker apologist; however, this movie was garbage. Like any good television show turned movie, they would have been better off just showing the three best episodes back to back on the big screen. The only three Sex and the City episodes I've seen (long story) involved the pretty-brunette-woman-whose-name-I-can-never-remember divorcing her husband and having sex with her bald, paunchy, very hairy divorce lawyer.
Kung Fu Panda: Jack Black is an ass. Only real pandas are entertaining.
You Don't Mess with the Zohan: I wish Adam Sandler would just recycle jokes and plots from his old movies instead of trying to come up with new ideas. I would gladly fork over $8 for Happy Gilmore II. Also, goatees are neither fashionable nor funny. Ever.
The Happening: I got off the M. Night Shyamalan ride years ago when a friend told me how the Sixth Sense ended before I saw it. Since then, I've never seen any of his movies but strongly believe that all of them have been complete and utter crap.
The Incredible Hulk: I finally saw the Ang Lee version this summer on cable when the beautiful and talented Jennifer Connelly (The Rocketeer!) stopped me cold mid-channel surf. I don't imagine that I'll ever actually see this new one; Edward Norton is only half-alright part of the time and Liv Tyler isn't nearly pretty enough (maybe in Empire Records?) to slow me down when I'm power surfing through the USA/TBS/TNT/FX block of channels.Get Smart: I have nothing against this movie. Maybe I'll see it on a plane one day.
Hancock: Oh, Will Smith, you made Independence Day and I could never hate you, but this movie was tedious, uninspired, and probably neutered by the MPAA.
Step Brothers: On the one hand, a grown man getting crushed by a poorly constructed bunk bed is hilarious, on the other hand, neither Will Ferrell nor John C. Reilly are very funny anymore. Jury's still out on this one, but I strongly suspect that it's mediocre. If we were ever at the video store together and you said "hey, let's rent this one," I wouldn't say no but I certainly wouldn't split the rental fee with you.
The X Files: I feel the same way about this as I do Sex and the City minus the weird, pre-pubescent crush on SJP (sorry David Duchovny). The only X Files episode I remember seeing involved a family of incestuous mutants living in an isolated farmhouse and I have to believe that the movie fails to deliver on that episode's creepy promise.
Pineapple Express: I have no plans to ever see this movie. If I find out that Jonah Hill was in it then I have definite plans NOT to see it. In another year or so this whole Apatow/Rogen thing will have run its course and only James Franco (maybe) and that guy who plays Darryl on The Office will have careers.The Mummy 3/The Rocker/Mamma Mia!: I will neither remember nor regret.
Tropic Thunder: Part of me wanted to see this but an even bigger part of me thought that there was a reason that they waited until the end of August when no other decent movies were playing to release it. That said, I can only assume that Robert Downey Jr. was nothing short of wonderful.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Oscar Season is here / gay zombie movie
From Bruce LaBruce, maker of Give Piece of Ass A Chance and The Raspberry Reich:
A young zombie named Otto appears on a remote highway. He has no idea where he came from or where he is going. After hitching a ride to Berlin and nesting in an abandoned amusement park, he begins to explore the city. Soon he is discovered by underground filmmaker Medea Yarn, who begins to make a documentary about him with the support of her girlfriend, Hella Bent, and her brother Adolf, who operates the camera. Meanwhile, Medea is trying to finish "Up with Dead People," the epic political-porno-zombie movie that she has been working on for years. She convinces its star, Fritz Fritze, to allow the vulnerable Otto to stay in his guest bedroom. When Otto discovers that there is a wallet in his back pocket that contains information about his past, before he was dead, he begins to remember a few details, including memories of his ex-boyfriend, Rudolf. He arranges to meet him at the schoolyard where they met, with devastating results.
Otto; or Up with Dead People:
A young zombie named Otto appears on a remote highway. He has no idea where he came from or where he is going. After hitching a ride to Berlin and nesting in an abandoned amusement park, he begins to explore the city. Soon he is discovered by underground filmmaker Medea Yarn, who begins to make a documentary about him with the support of her girlfriend, Hella Bent, and her brother Adolf, who operates the camera. Meanwhile, Medea is trying to finish "Up with Dead People," the epic political-porno-zombie movie that she has been working on for years. She convinces its star, Fritz Fritze, to allow the vulnerable Otto to stay in his guest bedroom. When Otto discovers that there is a wallet in his back pocket that contains information about his past, before he was dead, he begins to remember a few details, including memories of his ex-boyfriend, Rudolf. He arranges to meet him at the schoolyard where they met, with devastating results.
Otto; or Up with Dead People:
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