Confession

Awesome internet video checklist:

• racy subject matter - X
  
• comically frequent blinking - X
• skateboarders hurting themselves - no
  
• opportunity to judge others - X
• Tyra Banks trying not to say "slut" and "blowjob" on daytime television - X
  
• kittens - no

No kittens or skateboarders here, but I think this clip amply compensates with its other charms.



Watch carefully to appreciate the subtle awesomeness.

World Record Skateboard Slalom

I don't wanna be a poet / Cuz I don't wanna blow it

This guy is the real deal.


Lyrics:
Everywhere you look these days,
It's bound toe around
It's in the air, it's in our food
It's trampled in the ground
Down the block and near your house,
A reactor near your town
Geiger counters round-the-world
Record the deadly sound

Do it left do it right
Do the Radiation Shuffle,
Do it with all your might
Flap your arms we do the dance of death
The Radiation Shuffle to your dying breath

Babies drinking it casually
With their mothers' milk
Dumped in Oceans stupidly
The fishermen pays the bill
Fallout's just another name
For nothin' left to lose
Just wait until the alcoholics find
It's even in their booze

Do it left do it right
Do the Radiation Shuffle,
Do it with all your might
Flap your arms we do the dance of death
The Radiation Shuffle to your dying breath

Everywhere you look these days,
It's bound toe around
It's in the air, it's in our food
It's trampled in the ground
Down the block and near your house,
A reactor near your town
Just wait until the alcoholics find
It's even in their booze

Do it left do it right
Do the Radiation Shuffle,
Do it with all your might
Flap your arms we do the dance of death
The Radiation Shuffle to your dying breath

Not only does Robert Berger rock the shit out of the keys and look almost painfully awesome, he makes his own wine when he's not simply looking awesome (although I'm sure he looks awesome when he's making wine).

Also - he did not write the lyrics to this song.